Friends... Part Deux!

I woke up! The sleep wasn't that restful... but it never is... anyway... here's a continuation of the previous night post.

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of the 20 acquaintances... about 10 would attend any party i would throw... another 5 may show up, the other 5 would say they are coming, but would never show. 11 would be late, 2 would help clean up during... 1 would stay to help clean up 1 would actually come a little early to help set up, and probably 10 would ask if i need any help, (knowing i would say no)

20 of the acquaintances speak to me online, 2 of which would call me to say hi once in a while, 8 of which would call me back if i left a message for them... 10 of which would say hi to me if they see me online. all of which would answer an IM or email / myspace/facebook message if i sent one to them.

of the 20 acquaintences, i believe 7 would sell me out in a heart beat, I know 3 would sell me out in that same heart beat, 2 would stab me in the back if given the opportunity.

of my 6 friends, 4 would offer to pay the check, 2 would not, 1 of them has the means, but never seems to offer.

of the 20 acquaintences, 5 would offer a shoulder to cry on if they saw me upset, 10 would ask, but not really mean it and walk away. the other 5 would just avoid me.

out of the 20... 4 wish to join my inner sanctum of friends... but haven't proven themselves... 2 think they are... but not when put to the test... one is always nice to me, but i feel repelled by them (i think he's a psychic vampire or something) 2 wishes they could date me, but REALLY not my type (one is the repelled guy

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So... here is what I would do / have done for my friends

All my friends/acquaintences i would or have:

lent money to

paid for dinner

called or emailed to acknowledge their birthday (when i am aware of it.)

paid them a visit

invited them over for parties or hanging out

sent random IMs or emails/messages to say hey... i hope everything is okay

called them when i haven't heard from them in a while

cried with them

taken them to an event i wished to go to

taken at least 2 on a vacation/multi-day event that i paid for

overcome my anxiety issues to help out and be with

have had sex with some of the guys... (not nessecarily full out)

lent out my stuff (some of which was never returned)

invite them to stay the night

have had friends obviously take advantage of me

for some... have taken the abuse (social) and internalized it till it went away

for some... called them out on their stupidity

I have done things with some of them... i am not proud of...

I do prioritize the inner sanctum first, myself next, acquaintances next, then everyone else (in important circumstances... family though... 99% of the time comes first)

hooked friends up with a job if i had one or got them an interview

hooked friends up... (2 of my past inner sanctum actually got married off of my introduction... i didn't get invited to the wedding either... that hurt i never recovered from.)


Some things i won't do:

have sex with the females!!!!!!!!! (2 have asked)

willingly jeopardize the friendship

help them or perform acts that would stretch my anxiety to the limits (would cause a panic attack)

ask them to live with me... (there are a couple exceptions to this rule... but they are extrodinary circumstances)

let any in on my darkest secrets... yes... i have a couple

betray their trust by spilling their secrets to anyone else

completely sacrifice my well being for anyone out of the inner 6

show rage to the person i am really mad at (though others may hear it in a venting session, which, too, is rare for me... to truely vent... but it does happen occasionally)

let a friend go hungry... ever...

never judge them on things, fetishes, hangups that don't affect me directly

let a friend cry alone


family (the real family)... by hook or by crook... always gets treated like my inner sanctum... whether i like them or not, and whether they exhibit traits of the inner sanctum or not. it's the way i was raised.

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I am sure there are things i am missing from this list... this list... was generated by actually listing out the people i am friends with, ranking them in levels (not 1, 2, 3, 4..., then going through and marking people off for each category. The list was then destroyed... as it is not important to me who is where anymore... just... in the face of losing another 3 friends due to the silent treatment... i thought i should define what my friends will do for me...

please don't get me wrong... my friends mean the world to me. This is... afterall... somewhat of a journal for me. if you have comments... please... don't hesitate to mention them... oh... and don't ask what level you are... i will not answer that... publicly or privately... if you honestly don't know... use this as a guide... see where you place yourself... and determine your level from there.