Paladin Syndrome

No... not Palendrone... but probably just as annoying, though with potentially devastating side effects.

Why do I always want to save the world, but sacrifice myself along the way... why are my fantasies always akin to the movie pretty woman, where the Richard Geere character, me, has to save the person with the broken past... Why is that?

It's annoying as all hell, but there isn't anything i can do about it. I am a sucker for a heart wrenching story, especially when it deals with gay people...

I have been talking online to this guy for a couple days now... Very sweet, really adorable, big heart, with a lot of love to give. Really seems to like me a lot...

Except he has a VERY troubled past, and while he has a suprisingly positive attitude towards life, I can't help but want to save him from his past and give him a bold, positive future... A couple times I have had the day dream of winning the lottery, being able to save him from his troubled past, have him come live with me, shower him with presents and the love he deserves and be there as he sticks it to all the people who have hurt him.

If it were only that simple... I have had that dream countless times, with various people... The problem is... every time, i mean it... i really mean it...

Where this comes into play into the real world, is the fact that often, I will feel bad for a person, and it will cause me to help them, which sometimes has consequences for me. I can't save everyone, hell... a lot of times i can't even save myself, but there it is... I am always willing to sacrifice myself so that even one other person can be better off. It also causes me to not instantaneously fall in love with the person, not that i want to sleep with them or anything, but really reach out to them... give them a shoulder to cry on, help them if possible. Once again... this gets me into trouble occasionally, but well... i won't go into that now.

The sincerest of sincere hugs goes out from me to the world. Please know I really mean it!