a sad situation...

I have had, and lost contact with a lot of friends over the years. Whether it was the fact that i left my old home town of Philadelphia, or they have left... (or they developed FFFS)

One such friend, had moved away, and we stayed in touch for a little while, then, lost touch. I tried to call him a couple times, but his phone number had changed... I checked his myspace page, but he hasn't been on since 2007.

Being the person I am... i decided to keep trying, not obsessively, but every once in a while when i would think of him, and wonder how he's doing, I would give it the ol' college try.

After a year, I finally found him using facebook. It was good to reach out to him, and when he got my letter, he reached back out. I wish it was all good news though...

After so much time, he has developed AIDS. (the last time i talked to him, he was unaware (or didn't tell me) that he was HIV positive. Now he has drastically low cell counts, and a brain tumor that won't go away. So it's too late for the drugs that keep HIV at bay to work.

This really makes me upset. He was always, and still is, a light in this world with an infectious laugh, wonderful smile, and a fabulous attitude towards life, even in the face of death, he's all about spending 3 hours making a bowl of pasta salad for a party.

To see a life as bright as his, soon to be snuffed out by something as stupid as AIDS (unless a miracle happens) is just upsetting. It makes me want to go and slap several people across the face to say, would you just cure this already?

This friend, however, always had a lax attitude towards sex, and we have had many a friendly argument about my "hookup" policy. (I don't do hookups, despite sometimes i REALLY want to) He always told me i should shed my fear of hooking up. My fear was always two fold, STDs and bashers/psychos. Thinking that something as simple as sex would get me killed one way or another. While it's possible that this attitude has put me in the place i am currently at (single and virtually dateless)

In a recent conversation, my friend said, perhaps, it was the right attitude to take. I don't know if it is, but i do know that in life, no risk = no reward. If i changed my hookup policy, i might not be single now, but then i might be sick as well... (or have some sort of public indecency record.)

Either way, i am glad i decided to hunt down my friend again. Our conversations, despite the bad news, have been awesome and makes me feel good for the time conversations we have had, and will still have... Even though he needs to get a land phone line because his cell phone always cuts out!!!