last night

Last night... i had a VERY cute guy (at least I thought he was cute) from online ask me out. His intention, which he made clear, was to go to a bar/club to meet and hang out, then go to a waffle house to get something to eat, then end up at my place for a little night cap. (he mentioned this when i said it would be cool to chill with someone... he said he had no intention of chilling, and then gave me his plans)

My defenses immediately kicked in.

First, i told him (who had a swimmer's build (very skinny)) that i was not. I was not skinny, thin, or even average build... (the pictures of me online at the site he found me at, were head shots only)... he responded by asking me out. (with all of the details from above)

I was shocked... but i was honestly not feeling well... by that time i had gone to the bathroom roughly 4 times, and it didn't feel like it was going to stop... (and it didn't)

So i simply told him tonight was not a good night (he talked to me at 8:43pm which means i didn't have time to prepare myself.) plus... going to a club, then waffle house, then home didn't sound all that great, especially in my condition. But ofcourse, i didn't want to give him gory details. So i simply said, i have to work late at night for a project that HAD to be done by this morning, which makes me feel bad, because, it was untrue... but i didn't want to put him off.

So after going back and forth, he said what's going on for tomorrow. So i told him... at the moment I have no plans... so he mentioned going out tomorrow night. Seeing no reason not to, (and hoping i would feel better, AND have enough time to plan) i mentioned that that sounded cool, and talked to him about a couple places in walking distance. He wanted to go to a different place, but he said what ever...

The thoughts going through my head are, he's either desperate to get laid, or he actually kinda likes me. I actually think it's a small combination of both.

He, is 31, has a job (though not a career) and is italian, and at least from his pictures, i think he's cute.

I am personally against hooking up... but my last attempt at sex didn't go very well, and i am also afraid that the same thing will happen. It's been so long since i have done anything, i am afraid nothing will work out right... then i'd feel horrible that he came all this way, and nothing really happened. I haven't gotten anyone off in so long... i don't know if i can do it anymore without practice.

I will definitely be writing about how things are going...

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Fast Forward to this morning...

With all of the shit that's been happening lately, i have decided, to really get rid of a lot of things from my life. my old RPG gaming books, old direct TV units... gay books, and things, i don't really have plans to utilize these things again... so... they really should go... I would like to sell them. I figured, make some money off of the things... but i really think i will just end up donating them. (if you can even donate such stuff...)