hey everyone... i decided to take a couple days off and do... well a lot of nothing. my sabbatical is over and tomorrow i will be working again... now granted... I will be working from home... but working none the less...
I am still going through an internal mental evaluation of my friendships... and in my head there have been conversations playing over and over in my head... what do my friends do for me?
now... it's not that i am asking my friends for anything, nor do i think i deserve anything from them, but... like... most of them i never talk to unless i say hi first (note... this is not ALL of my friends... so stop being so paranoid!) but like... most of them never invite me to go visit them... ask me to hang out with them or get a cup of coffee or anything like that. For some, i ONLY hear from them when I call them (or they need something) for more... i hear from them mostly just when they want something i.e. they don't even pick up the phone when i call... and then when i do hear from them... it always starts off as an apology... i mean... come on...
now... i do have friends who don't like to talk on the phone, so they IM me... and that's great! they make an effort to say "hey, I'm alive, just busy... talk to you soon..." Others... well... they make the excuse that they just don't like to communicate, and that's just their nature... it kinda makes me wonder if all of their friendships are that strained.
anyhow... i do really like all of my friends... everyone holds a place in my heart... what the hell am i doing wrong then? Why am I the only one reaching out (most of the time) *shrug*
I don't know... i am headed to bed...
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