Am I built for love?

Seriously.. i am not sure that i am. I mean... i want love, who doesn't... well... lemme correct that... some people do, but I actually want it! (i think)

But over the past 16 years of my life (i am not counting the first 16 years) I have found it difficult to find romantic love... I always wanted it... but have only found it in one person... and it was short lived... I mean... Ben was awesome... but the true spark of love was just not there...

I have loved some people VERY DEEPLY... but they were online... and ofcourse... for me... long distance relationships never work out, or are nearly fulfilling.

I have a couple people who claim that they love me (from online) but once again... they are not even within 100 miles of where i am. One is half way around the world!!!

But it makes me wonder... do I even know what love is? I have never really truely been in love where it has been validated. No-one can really explain what love is. They can only give examples of it. (taking care of your loved one when they have fallen ill, random acts of romance, etc...)

Now... this is not to say my life is devoid of love... quite the contrary... I love all of my family and friends truely. There is very little i would do for any of them (i.e. cannibalism is always out of the question!!!) But this is not romantic love. I could see being friends with all of my friends forever! and ofcourse... family is family... you don't touch that!

But love... true romantic love... finding that one guy that I look to spend the rest of my life with... everyone tells me he exists... he's out there... you will find him when you aren't looking. But what if i don't find him... not because i am looking or not... but what if i don't know what i am looking for... what if i just don't know what constitutes love, romance, true soul mates... Perhaps I am just not built to love... that would mean I am single for the rest of my life...

I mean... think about it... 95% of people my age have had at least 2 - 3 people who they have "dated" or could say they were boyfriend/girlfriend... I know I have attempted to date... but i have not really "dated" anyone with the exception of Ben... and while we are still friends... it didn't last. And what was the reason it ended. "i am just not in love with you" it was said on both sides... and I really did like him... But love wasn't there... It makes me wonder... will it ever exist for me?

Am I built for love?