The world has been going a little crazy lately... I am finding that people around me are falling apart... most of the time through no fault of their own...
1. I was laid off... as anyone who reads this knows...
2. I have 2 friends who were kicked out of their living spaces through issues with their roomates...
3. A friend whos family has been torn apart by the fact that he's gay and wanted to bring his boyfriend to Thanksgiving
4. Another friend who is about to lose his job...
5. My cousin who just had a baby... (which is good) but the baby is currently going through Methodone withdrawl...
6. I have another friend who despite everything he is doing... cannot find a job at all
Now... none of these things that are happening, are within my span of control... yet, for most of the situations... i feel... as a friend... i have to do everything in my power to help everyone out...ofcourse... such a course of action, is difficult to say the least.
I took in one of my friends who lost his living situation, as a temporary situation... to help him get back on his feet and get his life together... because of that, I have big limitations on helping the other friend, who i feel extremely bad about and would like to help... unfortunately, i don't have a 10 bedroom house that i can let everyone live in...
I will do everything i can to help my friends find a job... but... i have to face facts that while the prospects look good, i do not have a job at this time... Such realizations are not fun to say the least...
I have... what my one friend refers to as Paladin Syndrome... another friend calls it a textbook case of co-dependancy...
I am wondering if this is all just some sort of test... To see if i can figure out who to help out, how to help out, what exactly to do... how far to stretch myself... and to see if i can come out on top... unfortunately... these are all answers i don't have yet... and I wish i knew what to do...
I truely feel bad for everyone, but realize... i have my own things to deal with... this certainly isn't an easy dilemma... and most of it isn't even mine...
sometimes i wish i could get a lobotomy and take away my feelings... life would be so much easier... though it's our feelings and compassions (for good or ill) that defines us...
If anyone has any suggestions... i am open...
2 comments:
It's often difficult to deal with those feelings. At one point, I had similar issues. I wanted to help everyone I cared about, no matter the ruin my own life was in. It lead to resentment on both ends, and in the end did more damage than it did good.
It's a good thing that you care about those close to you, however at this point there isn't much you can do to help them. The world's going to hell right now. Difficult as it might be, you have to help yourself first before you help them. And -that- is a pain to do.
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