low self esteem.

So... i have low self esteem... I know that... mostly everyone who knows me is fully aware that i look down upon myself...

It's part of my personality... for good or for ill... i feel as though it keeps me humble... That's not why i have it... but that's a positive side effect...

Since everyone knows i have low self esteem, i usually tell them not to let me know that i am not what i say i am, EVERY TIME... So when i post something that does demean me slightly... all i hear comments on is "you're not ugly... blah blah blah..."

Well... i do appreciate the sentiment... and I thank you for your positive thoughts... but... unfortunately, you saying that isn't really going to help me change the way I feel about myself. If anything... for some strange reason, it makes me feel embarassed and a little annoyed. I do appreciate compliments... but not negative reactions to what i say and type, especially if and when the point is completely missed.

I know where my strong points are... I know my looks, at the moment, are not one of them. Kinda like, i know i will never ever ever ever ever be a good doctor... i can't stand the site of guts... it's not one of my strong points...


As i am writing this, i do realize how pompous it sounds... but seriously... i am okay with myself... really... i am workin on changing my appearance to boost my esteem... once i do, you will see my attitude change about myself... but don't expect a miracle.