Well... I am home... and I have to say... i was almost giddy on the plane home thinking i can sleep in my own bed. Is it sad that, while i did thoroughly enjoy my visit in Philadelphia, and I ofcourse love seeing my family and friends!!! *YAY FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!!!!* I was so excited to come home... i couldn't get the smile off my face...
I am home safe and sound though... for the next couple weeks unless they want to send me someplace i don't know about... who knows... two doors close, one man leaves... errr... ummm... ya know what i mean =p~
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Last day in AZ?
Yup... it's possible today is my last day in Arizona (for the forseeable future) This phase of the project has ended, and I will be working from home (i.e. NOT on assignment) for roughly 2 weeks or more. We are not sure if we will be brought in for the next phase, I hope we are... I like the company we are at, they are laid back and frantic all at the same time!
I guess only time will tell... it will be good to be home for a while, but NOT good to scramble around for a new project...
we will see....................
I guess only time will tell... it will be good to be home for a while, but NOT good to scramble around for a new project...
we will see....................
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
and so.... the newb was right... but at what cost?
Sometimes you can't teach an old dog new tricks...
So, I have been on a job in Arizona for approximately 2 months. It's my first consulting job, and this job is a product selection gig. Essentially that means, the company i am consulting at is looking for a new document management system to roll out in their enterprise. We did a good job, and helped the client zero in on a specific solution. We obtained our objective for the client, HOWEVER, we, as a oonsulting company had our own objective as well. That is to come back for the next phase and do the implementation of said product...
Well... The company that they have chosen has their own implementation team, and are looking to do the implementation themselves with no help from my company. This will lose us, let's just say... A LOT of money. The project manager is just starting to realize this and is getting worried...
However, i flagged this possibility, as a strong probability like 3 weeks ago. My concerns were never addressed or taken seriously. Most likely because I am a newb consultant, but, i mean, if i were the purchasing company, I would take a look at the system vendor for implementation as well. It's their product, and their implementation services are much cheaper. I didn't keep pressing this matter, because I figured, the project managers had something else up their sleeve... Apparently, they didn't, and now they are scrambling...
Ofcourse, I am conflicted, I am a bad consultant in the way of, I try to do and suggest what's best for the customer. It's not that my company would do less of a job than the system vendor, it's that they could do it much cheaper. As a consultant, i am supposed to be jumping on these opportunities to push for us getting the work, but... if i see the bargain somewhere else... that could be better for the company... why would I, as someone being brought in to help the company, really recommend anything different.
Needless to say, it's all a moot point because I, especially as a technical flunkie, can't truely influence the decision. All I am doing is the best job that I can, which I was already dinged for by the client, who said I was too passionate in my opinions (seriously... all I was trying to do was give them words of caution with one of the products, but, they too were ignoring me and it's not something they wanted to hear, once again... the newb was thwarted!!!)
This, ofcourse, affects me directly, as I would be coming back to do the implementation phase. That would mean a project for the end of the year, which would be awesome for my utilization, which, as a consultant, is extremely important. Now, because the people were higher than me didn't listen to my warnings... i could have to scramble to find a new project somewhere else... *sigh*
So, I have been on a job in Arizona for approximately 2 months. It's my first consulting job, and this job is a product selection gig. Essentially that means, the company i am consulting at is looking for a new document management system to roll out in their enterprise. We did a good job, and helped the client zero in on a specific solution. We obtained our objective for the client, HOWEVER, we, as a oonsulting company had our own objective as well. That is to come back for the next phase and do the implementation of said product...
Well... The company that they have chosen has their own implementation team, and are looking to do the implementation themselves with no help from my company. This will lose us, let's just say... A LOT of money. The project manager is just starting to realize this and is getting worried...
However, i flagged this possibility, as a strong probability like 3 weeks ago. My concerns were never addressed or taken seriously. Most likely because I am a newb consultant, but, i mean, if i were the purchasing company, I would take a look at the system vendor for implementation as well. It's their product, and their implementation services are much cheaper. I didn't keep pressing this matter, because I figured, the project managers had something else up their sleeve... Apparently, they didn't, and now they are scrambling...
Ofcourse, I am conflicted, I am a bad consultant in the way of, I try to do and suggest what's best for the customer. It's not that my company would do less of a job than the system vendor, it's that they could do it much cheaper. As a consultant, i am supposed to be jumping on these opportunities to push for us getting the work, but... if i see the bargain somewhere else... that could be better for the company... why would I, as someone being brought in to help the company, really recommend anything different.
Needless to say, it's all a moot point because I, especially as a technical flunkie, can't truely influence the decision. All I am doing is the best job that I can, which I was already dinged for by the client, who said I was too passionate in my opinions (seriously... all I was trying to do was give them words of caution with one of the products, but, they too were ignoring me and it's not something they wanted to hear, once again... the newb was thwarted!!!)
This, ofcourse, affects me directly, as I would be coming back to do the implementation phase. That would mean a project for the end of the year, which would be awesome for my utilization, which, as a consultant, is extremely important. Now, because the people were higher than me didn't listen to my warnings... i could have to scramble to find a new project somewhere else... *sigh*
Thursday, March 20, 2008
4 dreams... 4 bad endings
Okay... one bad dream is bad enough... but 4?
So... the first dream, which I remember the least about, had me visiting home. Some family function was happening, I don't quite remember what it was... all i can really remember, is that we had some sort of burglar, and I was running for my life after being shot at repeatedly... then i woke up.
Dream 2 is one i remember most vividly...
I got a new job as a consultant, but to some sort of golf course/country club It required me to play golf and drive around in a golf card... not too bad right? (except the playing golf part... yech) I got a golf cart from some magazine who sent it to me for free as long as I played a lot of golf. I wasn't interested in playing more... so i took it into the garage with all of the other golf carts. They was wondering why i was giving it away so i told them. either way... I walked to the back of the garage to find some tour going on at some guy (dressed in safari garb) talking about animals in these wire cages. So i thought. i can join. Then... this female lion jumped from a bottom cage to the top cage... made me think... ummm... the cage is open. But the safari guy said it was perfectly normal. So i was like... okay... the lioness was kinda hanging outside the cage when the guy had turned away... THEN THE LION POUNCED!!! started attacking the safari guy who was desperately fighting her off. I was kinda stuck watching it. (it was a small concrete hallway in the back of the garage, not much i could do) Then i saw an opportunity to get the hell out of there. I started running when the lioness grabbed onto my elbow and all went black. I woke up.
The next dream, I was back at my old job at UCB visiting. For some reason, I decided I didn't like my new job (golfing all the time) so i asked if i could come back part time because the last job wasn't really doing much for me. (that's enough of a nightmare itself) they were mentioning that they would like that, so I kinda started helping out. It was going smooth, then the US site manager started coming and downing all of my ideas/everything i said. Not very fun... so i decided to go and visit the business up the hill. The building was locked and they wouldn't let me in. Okay... so i decided to go back to the IT dept. I hitched a ride on one of the golf carts with one of the techies, who then mentioned, what happened to my golf cart (from the last dream) I was like... I don't know. Next thing I knew, i was kicked off the golf cart and dodging people trying to run over me. I was hit by one of the cars, all went black. Then I woke up.
Last dream should be the most vivid, but it wasn't. all i can really remember was that I was in a room, a brick room with nothing in it, and the walls started closing in on me. I was alone and trying to yell for help, but it was a solid brick room, and no-one could hear me. As I got down on my knees (the ceiling was that low) and the walls started touching me... I blacked out and woke up.
kinda upsetting, that the first (set of) dreams i remembered in a long time... were all bad. I can't say they were nightmares, as I didn't wake up in a panic state... I was kinda like. That was very dissappointing. I was wondering if it's a bad omen of some sort.
So... the first dream, which I remember the least about, had me visiting home. Some family function was happening, I don't quite remember what it was... all i can really remember, is that we had some sort of burglar, and I was running for my life after being shot at repeatedly... then i woke up.
Dream 2 is one i remember most vividly...
I got a new job as a consultant, but to some sort of golf course/country club It required me to play golf and drive around in a golf card... not too bad right? (except the playing golf part... yech) I got a golf cart from some magazine who sent it to me for free as long as I played a lot of golf. I wasn't interested in playing more... so i took it into the garage with all of the other golf carts. They was wondering why i was giving it away so i told them. either way... I walked to the back of the garage to find some tour going on at some guy (dressed in safari garb) talking about animals in these wire cages. So i thought. i can join. Then... this female lion jumped from a bottom cage to the top cage... made me think... ummm... the cage is open. But the safari guy said it was perfectly normal. So i was like... okay... the lioness was kinda hanging outside the cage when the guy had turned away... THEN THE LION POUNCED!!! started attacking the safari guy who was desperately fighting her off. I was kinda stuck watching it. (it was a small concrete hallway in the back of the garage, not much i could do) Then i saw an opportunity to get the hell out of there. I started running when the lioness grabbed onto my elbow and all went black. I woke up.
The next dream, I was back at my old job at UCB visiting. For some reason, I decided I didn't like my new job (golfing all the time) so i asked if i could come back part time because the last job wasn't really doing much for me. (that's enough of a nightmare itself) they were mentioning that they would like that, so I kinda started helping out. It was going smooth, then the US site manager started coming and downing all of my ideas/everything i said. Not very fun... so i decided to go and visit the business up the hill. The building was locked and they wouldn't let me in. Okay... so i decided to go back to the IT dept. I hitched a ride on one of the golf carts with one of the techies, who then mentioned, what happened to my golf cart (from the last dream) I was like... I don't know. Next thing I knew, i was kicked off the golf cart and dodging people trying to run over me. I was hit by one of the cars, all went black. Then I woke up.
Last dream should be the most vivid, but it wasn't. all i can really remember was that I was in a room, a brick room with nothing in it, and the walls started closing in on me. I was alone and trying to yell for help, but it was a solid brick room, and no-one could hear me. As I got down on my knees (the ceiling was that low) and the walls started touching me... I blacked out and woke up.
kinda upsetting, that the first (set of) dreams i remembered in a long time... were all bad. I can't say they were nightmares, as I didn't wake up in a panic state... I was kinda like. That was very dissappointing. I was wondering if it's a bad omen of some sort.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Anxiety sucks
I know i say it time and time again... but since my anxiety seems to be steadily getting worse and worse... I would like to say... it really does suck.
It sucks that i am kinda stuck taking pills for the rest of my life... all the stomach problems it tends to cause... and the overall feeling of impending doom is not very nice either... why won't it just go away?
On a completely different note... everything else in my life is okay! =)
It sucks that i am kinda stuck taking pills for the rest of my life... all the stomach problems it tends to cause... and the overall feeling of impending doom is not very nice either... why won't it just go away?
On a completely different note... everything else in my life is okay! =)
Sunday, March 16, 2008
I am lying in bed... so I will make this quick...
Hello all...
For those of you who didn't know... Friday night at roughly 9:45pm a tornado hit down town atlanta. My place in midtown was fine, though I just so happened to be flying in to atlanta at that time... and lets just say... turbulance was bad!!! The shaking was super bad, and at one point the plane must have dropped 500 feet. There was lots of screaming and out loud praying... I was fine, thinking that if the pilots thought there was something wrong... they would have diverted us to somewhere else. But all of the people panicking, it got me nervous...
That being said... since I kinda sorta almost had a brush with death, and I am traveling a lot, i decided to write a pseudo will/final intentions incase of emergency... i kinda cried a little while doing it... because well... it was sad... but it had to be done... I wrote some of the people who are reading this in the final intentions.
Hopefully it will never have to be used... but if it is... I sealed it and locked it in my safe. My father is the only other person who has the key and passcode to get into the safe.
anyhow... it's time to sleep so i can wake up bright and early tomorrow morning to fly back to phoenix.
Nite all.
For those of you who didn't know... Friday night at roughly 9:45pm a tornado hit down town atlanta. My place in midtown was fine, though I just so happened to be flying in to atlanta at that time... and lets just say... turbulance was bad!!! The shaking was super bad, and at one point the plane must have dropped 500 feet. There was lots of screaming and out loud praying... I was fine, thinking that if the pilots thought there was something wrong... they would have diverted us to somewhere else. But all of the people panicking, it got me nervous...
That being said... since I kinda sorta almost had a brush with death, and I am traveling a lot, i decided to write a pseudo will/final intentions incase of emergency... i kinda cried a little while doing it... because well... it was sad... but it had to be done... I wrote some of the people who are reading this in the final intentions.
Hopefully it will never have to be used... but if it is... I sealed it and locked it in my safe. My father is the only other person who has the key and passcode to get into the safe.
anyhow... it's time to sleep so i can wake up bright and early tomorrow morning to fly back to phoenix.
Nite all.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
nothing to write
I have nothing really to write... but i thought i should write something just because...
i did get an email from a professional friend of mine... I really like it... and it applies on many different levels... so I will share it with you all.
=========================
Today is International Disturbed People's Day
Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend... just as I've done.
I don't care if you lick windows,
take the special bus
or occasionally pee on yourself..
You hang in there sunshine, you're friggin' special.
=========================
i did get an email from a professional friend of mine... I really like it... and it applies on many different levels... so I will share it with you all.
=========================
Today is International Disturbed People's Day
Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend... just as I've done.
I don't care if you lick windows,
take the special bus
or occasionally pee on yourself..
You hang in there sunshine, you're friggin' special.
=========================
Monday, March 10, 2008
I just had a Velma Moment...
comeon... you remember... Scooby Doo!
Velma always lost her glasses... well... i didn't lose them... THEY BROKE...
Titanium frames my ass... now... i know i have had them for a while... but they got a little twisted... i tried to bend them back appropriately, and snap... one of the arms broke off... and not in a place where it could be repaired... and crazy glue just wasn't going to hold it together...
now... i did order new glasses about a week or so ago... and they haven't come in yet... they should be in tomorrow or wednesday... That... ofcourse doesn't help me in ARIZONA...
I had to think fast. This is demo week at work... we have 4 vendors coming in to display their software... all of the teams will be around... and i can't wear half a pair of glasses, nor can i get by on wearing prescription sunglasses...
So I called LensCrafters (who i usually go to) and asked if they could sell me a box of contacts... Sure... if I have the correct prescription... WHAT? I don't run around carrying a prescription... So I called up Kurt who lives in my building and asked him to go into my place, find my prescription and tell me what it is... but no... they need to see the prescription... so i found the hotel fax machine number and had him fax it to there (I need to buy him dinner or something for his trouble)
I got the prescription faxed... went to the lenscrafters, only to find out... they don't have the type i need... so i told them... just get me something comparable... NNNNNOOOOPPPEEEE! they can only give me the type that's on the prescription...
What is it with these contact manufacturers...
well... whatever...
I can see... no glasses... and i have to go to the correct lenscrafters that have the contacts and get a box for emergencies. because... apparently... ya never know!
Velma always lost her glasses... well... i didn't lose them... THEY BROKE...
Titanium frames my ass... now... i know i have had them for a while... but they got a little twisted... i tried to bend them back appropriately, and snap... one of the arms broke off... and not in a place where it could be repaired... and crazy glue just wasn't going to hold it together...
now... i did order new glasses about a week or so ago... and they haven't come in yet... they should be in tomorrow or wednesday... That... ofcourse doesn't help me in ARIZONA...
I had to think fast. This is demo week at work... we have 4 vendors coming in to display their software... all of the teams will be around... and i can't wear half a pair of glasses, nor can i get by on wearing prescription sunglasses...
So I called LensCrafters (who i usually go to) and asked if they could sell me a box of contacts... Sure... if I have the correct prescription... WHAT? I don't run around carrying a prescription... So I called up Kurt who lives in my building and asked him to go into my place, find my prescription and tell me what it is... but no... they need to see the prescription... so i found the hotel fax machine number and had him fax it to there (I need to buy him dinner or something for his trouble)
I got the prescription faxed... went to the lenscrafters, only to find out... they don't have the type i need... so i told them... just get me something comparable... NNNNNOOOOPPPEEEE! they can only give me the type that's on the prescription...
What is it with these contact manufacturers...
well... whatever...
I can see... no glasses... and i have to go to the correct lenscrafters that have the contacts and get a box for emergencies. because... apparently... ya never know!
Monday, March 3, 2008
Still alive and kicking
I know I know... I haven't written in my blog in a while... it's kinda just that I have been miserable... so... why bother right?
I have been miserable not for any particular reason... probably just sunspots or the phase of the moon or something... Either way... meh...
I did replace my audio/video player with an Archos 605 WiFi 160GB player... nice huh? i like it... and that thing is NEVAH goin in a plane seat pocket.
I also go my portable satelite radio... i like it... it's nice...
Still not feeling the "Love" thing yet... still like... meh...
But I would love it for someone to show me...
No, not sex... just love. I realized that what a lot of people are saying IS true...
How can you expect anyone to love you if you don't love yourself. And I can honestly say... I don't. And at the moment... i just don't know if i care enough...
On another, very un-related note... Avis decided to upgrade my car from a compact (that I asked for) to a Chrystler 300... aka... a LAND YACHT! This car is nice... but freakin' HUGE... I asked them to downgrade back to a compact... they looked at me as if to say "Are you for fuckin' real?" I just said... well... never mind.
So... if you hear the ship horn in Phoenix... (yes, the desert) it's just me.
till next time
I have been miserable not for any particular reason... probably just sunspots or the phase of the moon or something... Either way... meh...
I did replace my audio/video player with an Archos 605 WiFi 160GB player... nice huh? i like it... and that thing is NEVAH goin in a plane seat pocket.
I also go my portable satelite radio... i like it... it's nice...
Still not feeling the "Love" thing yet... still like... meh...
But I would love it for someone to show me...
No, not sex... just love. I realized that what a lot of people are saying IS true...
How can you expect anyone to love you if you don't love yourself. And I can honestly say... I don't. And at the moment... i just don't know if i care enough...
On another, very un-related note... Avis decided to upgrade my car from a compact (that I asked for) to a Chrystler 300... aka... a LAND YACHT! This car is nice... but freakin' HUGE... I asked them to downgrade back to a compact... they looked at me as if to say "Are you for fuckin' real?" I just said... well... never mind.
So... if you hear the ship horn in Phoenix... (yes, the desert) it's just me.
till next time
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